Thoughts from a broken mind
by: Mike Bundrant
By the age of 14, most girls have succumbed to the insatiable inner critic that tells them they are less than. Yet, the belief that they need to be beautiful is already upon them, pressuring them to measure up. The stage is set for a lifelong battle; working hard to conform to mass media standards of beauty on the one hand, telling themselves they are pathetic and will never be good enough on the other. It’s a dilemma that often lasts a lifetime.
The individual that they are, the source of true beauty, tends to get lost in the shuffle.
If you have never been to Southern California, places like Orange County and Palm Springs, you are missing the parade of senior citizens who are still fighting this battle. The telltale signs of multiple cosmetic procedures are everywhere. Unusually high eyebrows, supremely puffed lips, skin stretched and re-stretched on faces so tightly that the eyes are permanently slanted, the eyebrows are sky-high and the mouth is locked in a funky grin.
Women age 75+ are sporting mini-skirts, high heels and low cut tops that scarcely cover the giant mounds of gel pack sewn into their bosom. It is a sight to behold, thousands of senior citizens still fighting the battle to appear beautiful.
The battle to be beautiful is certainly fueled by the skewed standards of the mass media. Millions feel the need to measure up, even though many of the people held up as the standard are so cosmetically modified that they are hardly recognizable. Their former, natural self has all but disappeared. It’s good business for the fake beauty industry.
For many individual women, the underlying angst is experienced as pressure. Pressure to be beautiful. Pressure to keep their husband’s attention given the many distractions out there. Pressure to compete with women who have younger looking skin, shinier hair, thicker lips, thinner waistlines and bigger breasts.
In some cases, a husband’s wandering eye adds to the pressure. Yet, even women fortunate enough to be with men of loyal mind and heart still feel pressure to protect the relationship by being more beautiful than any potential competition.
It’s a never-ending source of anxiety for millions. Our brains are branded by the media to value external beauty and conform to mass propaganda. The result is a never-ending striving for more external beauty, in some cases destroying any resemblance to the natural self.
Realize natural beauty is best. Utilize all the natural tools and products you can to make yourself attractive. The good news is that there are natural alternatives that work for nearly every cosmetic procedure. For liposuction, substitute i-lipo. For Botox, find an all-natural substitute (I won’t suggest one here, but they exist).
Instead of conventional make-up, use mineral make-up. For stubborn weight loss issues, few things work better than a good anti-candida diet. For excess wrinkles, use a non-surgical facelift. There are many laser products and all natural face wraps that do wonders to tighten the skin.
The best news of all is that these natural procedures do not distort your natural appearance. And they do not have harmful side effects.
For many of the women I work with, the fundamental issue is insecurity. A baseline, very personal insecurity drives them to pursue outward beauty in order to ward off the pressure to measure up. With each new effort to become more attractive (or keep the decline at bay) they experience temporary relief from the basic fear that they aren’t pretty enough. Within in few short days or weeks, however, the insecurity returns.
They way out of the cycle is down the path of self-acceptance. What beliefs, experiences, traumas, or current circumstances keep you from accepting yourself they way you are? Whom are you trying to please? To whose standards, really, are you trying to measure up? Did you realize that you have the power and the right to accept yourself?
A solid feeling of personal security and self-esteem is the foundation of natural beauty and a protection against society’s false beauty trap. Of course, I am a man and do not understand fully what it is like to fight this battle. I can only suggest these ideas for your consideration and report what I have learned working with women in the capacity of life coach.
To know and accept yourself is to embrace your natural beauty.
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